As you grow older, you will meet hundreds of different people from a huge variety of backgrounds. Sometimes, when you are so used to your own culture and background it can be especially hard to understand and respectfully engage with someone else's culture. This blog post will hopefully help you learn more about respecting different names from different ethnicities and the importance of pronouncing them correctly and respectfully.
You may think giving someone a nickname or shortening someone's name is nothing, right? Wrong, for many people this can make them feel small and as though they are being dismissed, why can't i be called by my real name?
Some things NOT to say to someone with an ethnic name include phrases such as
"I'm never going to remember that!" - This can seem like you are being dismissive, and showing that you don't value the person, in other words you're basically saying they are forgettable.
"Do you have something shorter for that?"- If someone wants to be called by a nickname they would have said so, let them offer this and if they don't then they clearly want to be called by their real name.
"Can i just call you ___ instead?" This comes across as disrespectful. This way you are disregarding the person's full background history and identity.
These phrases are not the way to approach an ethnic name. Likewise, actions such as; tapping the person on the shoulder because you'd rather not get their name wrong, pointing to them, or replacing their name with 'him, her, them' and hoping to get away with it are also all wrong and disrespectful to people with ethnic names.
So if that leaves you thinking, "what can i do in that situation?" then not to stress, here is some ways how you can help. Repeat their name after they have introduced themselves, this reassures the person that you have heard correctly and shows them you are listening, and at least trying to respect them. Reassure them, tell them you want to make sure you are saying their name correctly and ask them to teach you. This person will be more than happy to assist you in pronouncing their name and this shows a sign of respect towards them. Always double check when sending emails and important documents. This can be time consuming and frustrating for the person to fix, as well as showing a lack of care and as though the email or document hasn't been proof read.
More ways to help with pronouncing ethnic names correctly include helping others out, such as letting friends and family know that you are going to be introducing someone new to them (whether that be relationship or friendship) and teaching them how to pronounce their name properly. This will not only avoid any awkward encounters but will make the person feel valued and appreciated with such a simple task. Make sure to also call others out who have maybe said someone else's name wrong or mispronounced it, only if they are not in the room. This way they will learn from their mistake and hopefully fix it.
Remember, it is perfectly okay to ask for a reminder of someone's name if you ask politely. It can be hard remembering someone's name when you have a bad memory, never mind pronouncing it and in high tension situations such as meeting someone new, nerves can also get in the way and affect memory.
Struggling with how to tell someone they are pronouncing your name wrong? There are many ways to let someone know before the wrong pronunciation sticks and while being empowering at the same time, here are a few:
"Just to let you know, your pronouncing my name incorrectly, it's pronounced..."
"I'm sure you'll agree it's best to correct people right away before the wrong pronunciation sticks!"
"Could we spend a few moments practising the pronunciation of my name? I'd love to teach you?"
You don't ask brand's nicknames such as Gucci, Versace or Hermes. So you shouldn't have to ask a person either. A name is a major part of someone's culture and identity so this should be respected. Why should someone have to limit their identity or part of it to comfort someone else's laziness?
Credit goes to youtuber and film maker Anparasan Sivakumaran, also known as Anpu who i got the idea to write this blog from. He raised awareness for this issue by creating shareable PDF's and youtube videos to help people and empower.
Find his YouTube channel here: https://youtube.com/c/anpulondon
and find his PDF's to share here: https://www.anpu.london/name
Please share, like and comment to raise awareness.
