'Men age like fine wine whereas women age like a glass of milk'
I'm sure you have heard this phrase somewhere before, or at least a variation of it. That may be someone describing Pierce Brosnan (Sam, from Mamma Mia) as a silver fox, or describing Cameron Diaz as an 'old hag'- the double standards of men aging vs women is unfortunately very prominent in 2022.
Body Dysmorphia
A variation of this misogynistic view is women across the internet being scrutinized for their weight gain or called 'mid size' if they are a size 10 or above. Whereas on the other hand, a man with a 'dad bod' is praised and sought after, and this is seen as a sexy mark of distinction in men. This is great, but why can't it work both ways?
We all know aging is a natural part of life, but accepting it is a whole other thing. The truth is, women suffer an impossible paradox — embrace your age, but stay beautiful in the eyes of society. This is confusing for many women, as how is it humanly possible to do both at once?
Aging Men Vs Women
At the end of the day, everyone ages. Whether you are a man or a woman, it is bound to happen, and all bodies are taught to do the same, whether you embrace that or not is a whole other topic.
For women, the mental and emotional aspects of aging can have a major impact on their lives. In fact, according to a 2014 study, most women begin to feel invisible by the time they're 51. The same study also found that 75% of women felt ignored by men when they walked into a room and 50% felt as if they’d been “left on a shelf” or judged negatively because of their age.
Age-defying. Anti-aging. Turn back the hands of time. Look 10 years younger.
If you’re a woman, you’re probably familiar with these terms. And they probably sound appealing to you, no matter what age, given the emphasis our society puts on the importance of women looking as young as possible. There are so many minor causes out there that all contribute to women feeling as though aging is a bad thing, even subconsciously. An example of this is the term 'Anti-aging'. You walk into a local beauty store, such as Superdrug, Boots, or even down the beauty aisle in Asda, and I guarantee you will come across a whole bunch of products, aimed for the sole purpose of 'Anti-aging'. This is a huge problem in itself, as this suggests that aging is something women have to battle. Brands are aware of this and continue to produce products aimed at the older generation with the words 'Anti aging' written across them in bold as they know this is a selling point, and they know women will reach for this in the hope to look younger in their own skin.
Another huge downfall that a lot of people partake in, but do not realize (including me) is using statements such as 'she looks beautiful... for her age.' This is such a backhanded compliment, whilst this statement comes from a good place, it suggests that if you are of older age, it is rare to look beautiful. You might be surprised how small changes in the way we discuss taboo topics can make a big difference in the way we perceive them.
So let's see. When you look at both of these photos- think of some keywords that spring to mind.
Photo 1
Photo 2
Photo 1 is of Pierce Brosnan-words that spring to mind; elegant, classy, well-aged, and mature.
Photo 2 is of Sarah Jessica Parker; words that spring to mind are grey, aged, older, and wrinkly.
These are all words taken from internet sources these photos are linked to. This is a huge problem that people are aware of and choose to ignore due to patriarchy and capitalism. When a woman lets her hair go grey, she is 'letting herself go', whereas when a man does it, he is a 'silver fox'. The double standards here are crazy!
Women age gracefully.
“Graceful” is a beautiful word. It evokes pleasant images, full of poise and loveliness, elegance, and beauty. But it relies on the outside view.
We must change our own way of thinking in order to evoke the world's train of thought. We need people when they see an older woman, to use the term graceful and flamboyant, rather than 'aging badly'.
Instead of trying to defy age, own it. Wear what you want, own that grey hair, and go without makeup for the day.
OWN IT. That's the only way this problem, can be solved.